My Angel

Heidy was the love of my life, or so I thought, depending on what definition of love I used. Even after years, I still think about her and sometimes go out to gaze at the stars, hoping to talk to her. Let me share a little backstory with you: I met Heidy when I was 11 or 12 years old on an online chat called Cellufun. I don't remember how we started talking, but we chatted on and off for a couple of years. We grew close, and I realized I had feelings for her after only a few weeks of talking. Looking back now, as an adult, I realize that the love I had for her wasn't real; I had confused the meaning of love with the attention she gave me when we talked. At that young age, I had never felt such attention from a woman before, so I mistook it for love.

Every time we started talking again after a month or two of silence, my hopes soared, but I never had the courage to tell her how much she meant to me. Then one day, I ran into one of her friends who told me Heidy had died after suffering a heart attack. That shattered the little happiness I had in my life, and I started talking to the stars, believing she could hear me and become my angel. A couple of years later, I searched for her name online and discovered she was still alive. I tried to reach out to her, but I was scared she wouldn't remember me. Then she disappeared again for years until the last time I found her when I wasn't even looking for her, but I couldn't find the courage to say more than a simple "hi" before she vanished again.

It's been years since that last disappointment, and yet once in a while, I still search for her just to tell her how much she gave me hope to live and fight. Heidy, if you ever read this, please know that I am grateful for everything you did for me, and I still have love for you that I will never forget.